Its proving to be difficult to pull my thoughts together. Especially with the idea of doing it everyday. I sat under the water today and found myself thinking of what I might write rather than what was going on. It is still Dorothy who is running the show. She was telling me how I should have my gym when I secure the building . Which is fine when I converse with my family but I do want Dorothy to take a back seat and let faith and belief run the show.

Its depressing to me actually. To want so badly to see the changes and understand life from a different point of view but yet to have it happen. I hate being depressed! I love laughter and fun, but I have a hard time making it. I can be a part of it just fine, but I want to create it. Maybe that is what I’m missing. The ability to create that atmosphere of fun loving without the seriousness of needing everything to be solid.


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