I felt like I was close to something tonight. I just finished my meditation. It felt good. I settled in and sent Harold off when he started right away on things I needed to do and plan. I visualized him setting down with his pile of things and a masseuse coming up behind him to massage his back. He liked it and went for his full massage leaving me alone. But then of course I started to replay a conversation I had just had. Its something I do so I know if I said the right things or did the right things. That’s Sasha. She likes to be liked and likes to do whatever it takes. She can be lots of fun and is also a helpful part of me. I visualized Beatrice leading her off to a massage and taking care of her. Because Beatrice hasn’t had to work in a long time, I am visualizing her teaching the others that it is okay to take a back seat. In fact it’s kind of nice. She gets to relax almost all day and she reads magazines and lays out in the lounge chair. The good part was I didn’t even mention Dorothy. I had a fleeting moment when I saw a glimpse fly by and Dorothy began to dismiss it, but then I visualized the paper written for me. The one that showed how I have to branches of thought. I get caught in the mind when the spirit really wants to be recognized also. I decided and even said to myself “I believe in spirit.” After that it felt as if my meditation got deeper. I visualized my connection with water as me standing under a waterfall with the sounds ungulfing me so that anything I heard would be obvious. Then I heard it. It wasn’t as I expected. It was like a jet flying high overhead, but it didn’t go away and it didn’t follow the same path. It came in and out. It was not distinguishable however. I have hopes that it will be. No, Dorothy, go away. It will become clear, because I believe.
Okay, so I have to give Dorothy a little time to surface…I know I am not separate people per se. That would make me crazy, right? But then again, aren’t we all different people? We act different around our friends than we do our grandmothers…(well, my grandma was pretty cool so I didn’t, but I do around other elderly people). Anyway, I do know I am making this up as visualization to aid in my practice. I understand your concern and want you to know I got this. I could pass any test to prove my sanity. I just need Dorothy to be there 🙂 Ha!