My meditation today was tough. I want a breakthrough so badly. And by the way, I figured out the sounds I was hearing the other night was the racetrack down the road, muted by the fan. My husband loves to have a fan running and I got so used to the sound, I forgot it was on. Then I sat down to meditate so I didn’t recognize the sounds right away. Disappointing.
I am still trudging along however because I am certain things will improve. I was thinking back to the first time I meditated many years ago. I couldn’t sit still, it hurt – literally hurt – to breathe because I was trying so hard to be still. Now that part is easy for me. It took many years, but I admit I was never consistent. That’s one reason why I believe things will happen. I am being consistent now. Meditating everyday so I expect things to progress. I think my mind pointed me to a break today as I got frustrated with myself. I swear I could physically feel my head being pushed to look at a painting I have been working on. Drawing and painting is one of the things that can take my mind away. I don’t think about anything while I work and it is so refreshing. So I started painting. Then before I knew it, it was 8pm.
I took some time to goof around on the internet. I actually found myself looking at a friend of mines pictures. She is a photographer and a great one at that. I didn’t know she did such a good job. II can’t wait until it’s my turn…note to self – save some money.
After all that, I remembered that I promised myself to work on connecting to spirit everyday. I did my practice on auras. I am getting to where I can see mine. Unless my mind is tricking me to see the color I was told to see….hmmm. Thought to dismiss so that I can continue my work. Then I did the practice I had found to strengthen the ability. It’s tough. My eyes want to blyr and when that happens it is impossible to use peripheral vision, which is suppose to be how you see aura. Note to self…do more research in case there is an easier way.
I will say I enjoyed doing my practice with eye focus with the lights off. I could even see the spots you are supposed to see while focusing on the black dot. Well, one anyway. I’m still working on that. This from a girl who can’t do those pictures where something is hidden and all you have to do is lose focus…This could be a tough process. I am diligent however and will make it happen one way or another. I am not giving up because my mind is fighting. A good teacher would tell me that it is not fighting. It is just acting like a mind should. Yep, fine.