I meditated yesterday, but didn’t journal. It was difficult because it was late and it hurt. It really hurt because all my body wanted to do was lie down and my mind started to fight it and convince it that it would happen later. But then I finally just gave in. I let it hurt and the thing I noticed is that it quit hurting. It came back but it went through phases where it hurt and then stopped and the time frame for when it hurt lessened when I relaxed into it. I’m sure there is a lesson in there but I am still trying to work it out.

Tonight I sat and my mind was so busy. This is going to get harder and harder because my time available becomes less and less. I noticed that the feeling I get when I settle in is the same one I get about mile 4 in a good run. It lasts until about mile 6 and I’ve yet to have it return in a distance run but I think the pain in my body orvershadows it. Maybe if I found the right supplements it would work…wandering mind. So I was thinking that later when I need that exercise and meditation, I could put it together. Still, the busier I get, I put my own exercise on the back burner also. 

I just can’t bring it to myself to sacrifice the time with my kids. My job will be tough this year because I am starting fresh so there goes all that. Maybe my car rides will be enough for contemplation….I’ll see later. 

Sunday may become my only day again. It saddens me a bit but more because of what I might be missing out on for not putting in the quality time. I still haven’t found that its worth it to spend so much time on it. I hope someday I do but first I will be a mom. I’ll become a nun later, ha…but maybe.

I still haven’t figured out how the tater fits in, but it was fun to write.

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