During my meditation today, my mind was wandering like crazy. I did take the time to notice how it does what it wants – from a distance, but I also noticed how much my moods can change! With every thought, I decided to notice how it made me feel along with recognizing what I was thinking and I swear I felt every, I mean every, emotion in the 20 minutes that I sat. I didn’t realize how crazy emotional I am 🙂

I also put some thought into a concept we talked about at group. The idea that if you break down the self, you are nothing. If my body is not the same body I had as a baby, or even at 20, how can I claim it to be who I am? It will change again and actually is constantly. If I claim to be my emotions…well, that would make me crazy so I’m not going there. If I claim to be my thoughts then those are constantly changing as well. But then I thought, Okay, my thoughts change, but my underlying core of thinking is the same as it has been, rt? Oh wow, I guess not, because when I really get down to it, I have put a lot of work into getting my thinking process off the negative ride and into an uplifting positive, people are really good, ride.

Hmm. Makes me think about the whole concept of being energy….and that is ever evolving, along with the idea that it cannot be created or destroyed (learned that one in science class and I think its even been proven:) so the reincarnation idea makes sense now. I remember the first time I heard it, it baffled my mind. We can reincarnate, but we have no soul…what!? But if we are energy and we die, that energy cannot disappear, but its not like its going to be the same either. The concept of the candle producing a new flame, not being the old flame, is starting to form actual sense in my head, but not at all with the same metaphor. Ha, that made no sense either. Oh well, when I break a human body down to its energy state, and matter is energy (right Einstein?) then we can constantly grow, change, and be reborn. It even seems as though we can be reborn within the same lifetime, in the slowest possible process…

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