There are a few things I don’t understand with this story. Things such as, why would God not appreciate both offerings? Abel have a lamb and Cain gave fruit. They both gave what they worked hard to get…but maybe it’s because the stories are written by man. Maybe Cain could not feel the love of God because he is a man. We all have our baggage and it limits us if we let it. We want to feel loved but even when it is given to us, we unconsciously block it, or don’t believe it is love because we feel unworthy. God said to Cain, “do well and have honor. Do wrong and sin is waiting at the door desiring to have you. Do not let it be your master.” The word desire and sin can go hand in hand and while I don’t believe sin is inherent, I believe humans have ways of causing themselves suffering. I must study and listen to God to be reminded or I fall to the desires. I can feel God’s love until I am tempted to feel man’s love. It is different, I promise. It’s the love that comes from flattery and makes butterflies in your stomach. Pretty girls and rich boys suffer from this as long as they don’t recognize it for what it is. Desire. However, God’s love can flow through man. It is pure and great. It is fulfilling. It gives without the expectation of receiving and once you feel it, you cannot mistake it. I know this becaus I have experienced it. Just yesterday, I was flirting with desire. It feels so wonderful but then it leaves you empty. It takes from you. Compliments to beauty that can fade stands nowhere near compliments to character and most of all the love I have for mankind. I will continue to work. I will fall back but then I will recognize that empty feeling that follows, I will get back on track to feeling God’s love again and I will make it my purpose to share what I can of that.

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