I decided to expand my studies to include the Quran. I have never studied Islam in depth, in fact, most religions I have only read about. This is the beginnings of my journey here and maybe, like with Buddhism, I will have the opportunity to explore it more fully.

The word of God extends. I can take this as truth or not because I know my mind has the ability to connect with the word of God. I believe in what has been provided to me to know what is tainted and what is holy. At one point in my life, I was all trusting and I believed I should follow exactly what the Bible said to me and what was taught to me. And then I became cynical and did not trust anything that was labeled as the Lords. But now I know, I have a part of me that knows.

“It is a guide for those who are mindful of God…” (2. The Heifer). It says it is for those who “spend out of what We have provided them.”

God gives everyone what they need. The gifts and the struggles t gain what is necessary to be successful here. There are some who become greedy. They no longer work for the Lord, but they work for the money and/or fame. Those are the ones that suffer and they cause suffering.

What I am pondering is that God “has sealed their hearts and their ears, and over their eyes there is a covering.” Why would God do this? Is it the human usage of free will? Does God provide suffering for a greater purpose or a greater example? If God can do anything and is all powerful, why would he create those greedy business people who extort the workings of his fellow people?

I once did not know the presence of God….I had a glimpse of that time most recently. I grew up poor minded, but I just realized that is not to be blamed for my fear. I had little, and I was angry, sad and lonely. There were glimpses of happy times. Mostly with my friends. In the younger years, we would pack a lunch and go for adventures in the fields, lanes, and forests. As I grew into a teenager, I was drawn to the crowd of the partiers. They had so many of their own worries and disappointments, there was no care as to what I was doing. I understand that now. Its not that they did not care about me; it’s that they lacked the capacity, as I did for them. Who was I to say they were doing wrong, when I was doing the same type of experimenting in order to find some simple happinesses in life? That was what was sought. A moment of happy. Without worry. Without fear.

Now I can look back and see what I was missing. There is no fear when you know God is in control. I suppose that is when the blinders come off. But as children, we can be raised with blinders. I wore mine for many years. I never felt the comfort of God’s presence until adulthood. I knew it existed. I felt a glimpse or two. But it did not penetrate my soul until I reached the age of 35. Then I knew every moment in my life had been carefully planned and I would not have the tools(experiences) I needed without the lost years. I am meant to help others. I know that.

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