I am borrowing that title from a church I attended today for the first time. Lately, I have been working very hard to understand depression and how spirit can be an important component in the healing process. To feel loved and valued by the creator is my solution to depression. Yet, it is so distant most of the time and it takes tremendous effort to pull it forward. I must study the word of God in order to feel the love. The word of God is presented in many ways. Through direct connection with my spirit guides, through conversations with friends and through the teachings presented to me by spiritual leaders.
I have been blessed this weekend. I struggle with money. I was raised poor and continue to act as if I am even though my family makes enough money. It has been one of the last acts of faith to not continue to grasp tightly to what I believe is right and to let go so and trust that God will provide for me. I’m not saying I have been able to do that 100% but I have been giving more and being less stingy.
In doing that, I have been constantly blessed. Yesterday, I found $60. Just sitting there. I waited for someone to return and when no one did, I thanked God. Knowing I would be going to a new church today I pledged to give God $20. The last church I went to had a tithe box in the back in order to relive people of the pressure to give. That was nice and I assumed this was the new way.
As I sat with an extra $60 in my bag, I began to have doubts and started to get clingy. Thinking I should “save” the money, just in case. God only asks for 10% (that can’t be true…where did that come from?) so that would only be $6. I could bring that next time. I just don’t have change for it this time.
BUT the message was so impactful. It was about serving God. Not doing the “right” thing with expectation that you would be rewarded but doing God’s work for the sake of serving Him. And then trusting that He will take care of you. Not because you “deserve” it or “earned” it but because He is God and that is what He does. And then I decided I had it all wrong! I had been tallying up my good deeds and patiently (ha!!!) waiting for my reward. My change in perspective in that moment was like a breath of fresh air and it felt like a weight was lifted. I am no longer forced to do good because if I don’t I will suffer the wrath nor am I expected to do good in order to be rewarded.
No, I will do good because it is my choice to shadow God. God loves me and wants me to fulfill my life’s purpose. I feel the most right and loved when I am doing His work.
Mao to finish the story, they do pass a basket. And I fished out that $20 and then as my family and I walked out, a woman handed a $20 to my son. She said, take your family out for coffee. I almost cried. In that moment, God spoke to her and spoke to me. I know that God prompts us to do things and I am SO grateful she listened because His message was loud and clear. He will provide for me as I learn His teachings and He will provide for you too.