I spent the day with you. Every second felt like you would steal my soul. A heavy cloud of sadness dripped down on me.
You believe what you say is the truth. Who’s world are you living in? Not mine. Not of any that I have seen. I have stood inside the manger you provided me and I have seen the provisions that come with it.
I want more.
You say that you have the best of me in your heart, but you haven’t even seen the multitude that I am. You look right over all that fires in me. Even if you could see it, you would not know that it is what becomes me.
I want the same for you. I want you to feel the strength that comes from deciding who you are and standing by your convictions. From not backing down.
Yet you stare into my soul with the eyes that know what should be. They sparkle with righteousness, yet have no clue the torture that a soul can endure while pretending to be living in a castle set on a hill made of sand and water.
So go. Live your life. The one that knows all truth. That lives in the world of black and white.
I will strive in the colors. The beige, the pink, the gray. The turquoise, the magenta, the fusia. The ones that make no sense to anything other than a heart born in a soulful world of mysterious masterpieces. It’s not the same with all. You couldn’t see the red in my veins if you were looking in a microscope.
So, I beg of you to leave me to my own. Let me drown in my own desires, sleep with my own demons so that my angels can take flight and deliver me to my dreams. No need for forgiveness, yours or mine. You live you (and quit judging me) while I live me.