The room shook, not rapidly like a quake was going to bring the walls down, but softly. Just enough to make you nauseous. It was only for me. A reminder that a night’s events can transpire into a new days kaleidoscope of suffering.
As I glanced about the space that took up my body, I found no comfort. The message was gotten in a near trancelike state and quickly forgotten as sleep overcame me. And then I remembered him.
It began the weekend that I disappeared. Really I was here the whole time, but he couldn’t see me. He didn’t want to see me and in all my efforts to ascertain his purpose behind such strange acts, his only remark was it was unintentional.
So why should you act so confused when I start acting my part in your story? Shouldn’t you celebrate that I finally understand? Don’t be so hurt because I feel it too. I know you wanted a dancer to parade around you, singing your praises and marching in parades whenever you were in town only to shake it all off at the end of the street when it’s time to go to the after party. I gave those for a moment.
I cried when I took them away. You don’t know that. You think I’m like a receding tide. The moon shows up so I have to go, but the pull is so intense it makes me bleed inside my soul. And yet, I hadn’t even given it my all.
Amidst the strangled tears that I refuse to let transpire, I do my best to remember you were only my beautiful distraction. You were never meant to be. I look to the sky and I give in again. This life may belong to me, but I have no control as to when the wind decides to blow in a storm. I can only hold on and pray to make it out alive in the end.