“All that we are is the result of what we have thought; it is founded on our thoughts, it is made up of our thoughts. By oneself evil is done; by oneself one is purified.”

I have been thinking a lot about this lately and one of the biggest changes I have made in my life is choosing what I want to believe. If I want to believe in angels and fairies, I can. If I want to believe in miracles and happily ever after, I can. It is completely up to me. I understand that doesn’t mean life will be all sunshine and butterflies, but I can cry when I need to, knowing that the rainbows will shortly follow.

In Buddhism, the only thing you can count on is change. I think that is why I was drawn so closely to this religion and why it is still my drug of choice. The honesty in it is refreshing. Yet, I hate change. I hate looking at the past. My memories are foggy and I think it is because I tend to disconnect. It’s one way of self-protection. I am working on staying present. What a challenge that is.

Which then got me to thinking about people. I have struggled with depression and anxiety as have a lot of people. I don’t know what got me out of it really. I’m sure it was a combination of many things. A mixing pot full of studying different religions, of forcing myself to meet new people and get out there, of forcing myself to exercise and meditate. But how do other people do it? I know there are medications and different techniques, but  I am supposed to be in the helping profession and I have no idea what to do with someone who is so crippled with depression that they cannot get out of it. I want to be able to help, especially because I know what it feels like. But I am a doer, and I can’t expect everyone to be that way.

I go back to the beginning. We are our thoughts. It might take action to change what our thoughts are playing through our heads, but any amount of action to rewind the movie and the story can bring about a positive change. I hope I can convince others that there is a better story, one with a happy ending.




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