“God intends to make things clear to you, and to guide you in the ways of those before you, and to redeem you. God is Most Knowing, Most Wise.”

I take things out of context, but it’s no matter to me. I don’t read the books because I believe them verbatim. I read for inspiration, for a spark to ignite. I look for the place in the books where my heart says, “wait a minute.”

God is melting into more of a shadow, a clouded, white, shadow and less of a person with each moment I spend. Solitude guides my spirit in ways a rational mind, analytical thoughts, could never experience which leaves me winded and unsure. Still, I grasp to the idea that God has a plan for me and each unravel of the material world will leave more room for my being to grow.

I trust. I have faith for the first time, and the more faith I have, the less I trust the human words that fill each of the guidebooks I read. And I must remember that. Each book promises to be the word of God, yet each book was formed by a man holding a pen to a parchment. Still, I can take the words and, underneath it all, understand that with each syllable uttered, transferred to paper, God was giving a way to reach him. If you believe God is a man, then believe it. God will make it clear. If you believe God is not a distinct being, but rather a component of everything in some weird way that doesn’t make any sense at all but becomes more and more clear and at the same time, less and less clear, then believe that. It makes no matter to me how you live your life, which God or not God you believe in, as long as you exist with me, you have a purpose and I will love you.


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