Light glistens off the sky beckoning thoughts that have no place in a steady mind. Still, I can’t help but wander off into lands of greed. Just as I arrive, a storm begins to brew.
First the rain, warm and inviting. I run through the barefoot softness formed under the droplets.
My spirit feels alive.
Then the rage of jealousy betrays the gentle breeze, pulling agony and fear to the surface. It hurts only for a moment because the memory of a giving heart, with no desire to be justified reminds me that I made the choice to love under no pretense of any other’s demands.
No, I can love with no expectation, no justification, nothing but an open heart.
It aches to feel it returned. But the storm rumbles. Bringing rolling thunder on the low burner of mild intentions that aren’t sure which direction they will lead.
It brings me to my knees some days.
I don’t know how much longer I can live under this umbrella. I don’t know how to shade myself from the many slicing, sideways, flatteries filled with unknown intentions brought on by an onslaught of invitations never given. Even if others existed, it wouldn’t matter to me.
I have no want to explore any caves when I am brimming with gold right here on the surface. Maybe someday I’ll have had enough. Enough of the whispers singing across my skin as the lightning flashes, too far between, yet just enough to string me into another breath of promised ecstasy. Enough of the wanting that builds deep inside my soul and sits in wait like a dragon who’s fire is threatening to go out.
When that day comes, I hope you haven’t wasted away. I hope you’ve decided to leap with me, the last crack of the smoke across the sky to begin building dreams along the lakeshore.
The storm will end, the sun will bless us with warm kisses and gentle forgiveness of all that we missed when we were fighting to get here.