The bells ring. They scream inside my brain signaling another day of passive existence. I try to take another step forward.

I look to my left where you used to lie. I remember the loneliness that sat on me like a blanked filled with a heavy fog. I knew so little. I had only you.

I still cannot comprehend the moment that came. I finally felt compelled to burn the house down as I walked out the door. There is no returning home. Now I sit, alone in my room. Yet, I feel so paradoxical, alone and full of empty hope. It’s so hard to describe a potential that I’ve never experienced as a possibility because I’ve been so constrained by rules, chains to my wild nature.

I have a hope, a knowing that this is what it is all about. Love without bounds, dreams without boundaries. Yet, it still saddens me to think I can’t walk this path with you. I guess I was always meant to do it alone. I got so tired of dragging you along. I’m not sure you even ever wanted to leave the front porch.

I am full of crazy ambitions that fly on the wind in a hurricane that most would hide from. I scare myself sometimes. But when I stop to take a breath, I make the most mistakes. If I cannot listen to the wildness flowing through my veins, the logic screams so loud that I take for granted all of the selfless decisions I talk myself into. Those decisions cripple my soul. My spirit cries.

I cannot pretend a moment longer. I step into the newness as a creature full of sincerity. Walk with me or don’t. I will care little if you choose to step aside. Even if my heart aches with longing to experience your presence again, I will know deep within me that my journey would only accept you if you were to be a magical addition to the stars within my soul.

 

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