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Becca looked at the clock. 3:00 AM
“Fuck,” she said. She was grateful the restaurant didn’t have breakfast and she didn’t have to be to work until 11:00 AM. She sat down on her bed and looked at her phone as if it would give her the answers.
The weight of recent events was compounded by the fact that she had also lost the wand. Her aunt’s wand that was entrusted to her and was to be her savior in the merry-go-round of who was on her side and who was against her was gone, vanished in her irresponsible state of being.
Work might be easy, but coworkers had begun sending her cold stares to replace the small talk. She couldn’t believe the amount of drama twenty-somethings could get themselves into, and the fact that she, doing her best to stay out of it all, was placed squarely in the middle because that was more suspicious than just gossiping with the rest of them. The air was heavy and she wondered if she was capable of doing anything right. She fell back onto the bed and couldn’t help from keeping her mind from the spiral into a chaotic beating session.
Her sister was in the hospital. There was no reason given for it. Becca thought of all the times they pulled together special herbs to steep or burn to release the smoke into the air, she thought of all the spells they had chanted together, and even apart from each other. She thought of the way she, herself, had fell ill and how they continued to toe into a realm they had no business in regardless of the consequences. They were on a never ending quest for power that did not belong to them.
Jenny had always been her strength, the pushing force that kept her in line to her dreams. The thought of her veering into another existence brought a deep sense of worry beyond any she had known. Andrew was a spoke in the wheel, but she had no idea why her sister would be against him or against them being in a relationship.
Her mind wandered to Andrew. She couldn’t help the unease she felt when she was away from him. He sauntered through her mind on a regular basis and gave her a hope towards a fun and exciting life, yet she knew having that, meant giving up so much more, including her relationship with her sister. Maybe that was doomed anyway.
Becca wished her mind would stop. That she could somehow turn the thoughts to anything that made sense and she was suddenly pissed that she was placed into a no-win scenario. Red pressure built behind her eyes and a rock formed in her stomach as she once again cycled to the wand and its disappearance. Utterly failing, she wished she could no longer exist. Not that she wanted to kill herself, just quit existing. “Make it go away,” she spoke out into the silence. “I don’t want to wake up,” she finished before closing her eyes.